Nobody expected things would turn out like this. Nobody wanted it to end like this. Nobody knew what except for herself best.

Emotions running inside's going pretty fast for a roller-coaster ride.

I may not cry infront of others, but that's because I haven't accept the fact that you're gone and I believe you're still here, all along..

I just met you about a month and a half ago yet I didn't have a clue at all that I'd be coming back again, for a funeral. You left before I had the chance to say anything and I regretted thinking it was emotional of you to cry when we parted the other time. Now I finally understood and as I read the previous blogpost I updated after the awesome trip, I stated, "Old folks are sometimes lonely and in need of company.." Which was definitely true.

You asked Atok later on after a few days to come back before Ramadhan but everyone was thinking of only themselves in mind. Now that you're gone, each and everyone of us finally understood the reason why. You saw it coming but you just stood still, not wanting anyone to worry. Why? The heart of yours is like a gold and that's why God loves you more than us. You were always there, happy as can be although on the inside, pain was what you felt.

Though I don't say it but I know you know that I care and will always love you. My tears rolled down my cheeks uncontrollably just as soon I got to know you're gone. You left so soon for me to see you for the last time. I was already shocked when I heard you were warded in the ICU and hoped you'd have a speedy recovery. You looked so strong in my eyes that I believed you can overcome this but who, who in the world would expect what just happened?

I cannot speak. I was speechless.

Perhaps I was high yesterday because God gave me a signal that you were going to have the freedom of your life. The freedom of peace.

You may be gone, but just so you know that memories with you will still remain with me, forever.