it's all about the wordplay.

meow

2011-04-06T19:31:00.007+08:00

I hate how you search for something on Google and it gets directed to my blog. Like how my elder sis' typed in my younger sis' name and got directed to my posts back in 2008 -_-

Anyway I know this blog's been abandoned for awhile but Idk, I'll just post when I feel like it. Weekly, maybe?

Last Sunday night, my brother brought home a kitten. Apparently noone knew about it but my mum flew into a rage, of course, after getting to know. It's just cleanliness problem I guess, how the cat will pee, shit and have its fur all around the house. I didn't like the idea of it too but nonetheless, it was a very cute kitten. Its colour's orange and it was a male.

I was definitely shocked and dare not play with it since I was not a cat-lover of any sort but since it was small, I thought it'd be harmless because.. What can a kitten possibly do, right? Its scratches nor bites won't hurt that bad. So I got comfortable and played with it :)

Since we couldn't bring it into the house, we left it outside. But it couldn't stop mewing and frankly, I had a difficult time sleeping at first since I pitied it so much that I kept thinking about it. The only sad part whilst having the kitten around was really, when it's being left outside alone. Because to me, if I were it, I'd be locked outside and obviously I'd make noise just to get in, right? So it goes the same with the kitten.

The next morning, it followed us downstairs when we wanted to get in the car but since my mom's sending us to school, it was too slow to catch up and stopped at the staircase. What's amazing is that it remembered where it came from and went back upstairs of which, by then, my sister was already awake.

I couldn't wait to get home from school that day. I was feeling so excited to get home to something new and play with it. It was a Monday, so there was CCA but I skipped it. I wasn't in the mood to stay anyway. So I got home, and played with it for afew hours. Then I got tired so I left it outside for awhile and almost slept.

That same night, I had to bid goodbye to it. My brother decided to gave it away to my sister's friend, since she had cats and would be the most ideal person to take in another cat haha. Long story cut short..

I MISS THIS KITTEN.

I actually never thought this time would come. It's not like I hate animals or cats to be specific but I'm more of afraid. However, I should be glad that it's in a better place now. I know I'm making it sound like it's dead and it's only been with me for about exactly 24hrs but..

Yes, I am a very sensitive person.

mind's a whirl

2011-02-04T19:30:00.003+08:00

Today was such a lazy Friday. I can't stress the word 'lazy' more.

I can't believe I wasted a day away. I was looking forward to the four-days break so much and now that it's here, I just wasted one of it away. It's not like I get anymore free days :( Tomorrow'll be packed, and I could hardly plan for anything on Sunday because 1) my madrasah's from eleven to two 2) by the time I reach home, I'd be too lazy to head out and it's not like I can get home late as there's schl the next day. So you see?

But nevertheless, on a positive note, I get to hibernate. It sure feels good to be home!

Dear God, I hope on the days that follow, it'll be good. InsyaAllah.

bingit siak

2011-01-31T15:18:00.004+08:00

I am mad furious right now.

Today was such a suay day. Last night too, was the night when I cried after so long. I was so angry it got me to tears. And today, I'm locked out from my phone and I'm fucking pissed. Of course it's my fault for meddling with the passcodes and ended up not remembering them (which caused my misery at this very second) but still? I didn't expect all of this to happen, right? Now I have to go all the trouble of watching Youtube vids on the instructions on which I can follow to help me restore the goddamn thing without having to lose all the datas inside. I don't even care right now if I lose them. I just want to get the fuck in the phone and live a normal life again. You can call me crazy for panicking this much just because of a mobile phone but, that's the reality. If you can live without it then yay you, let me know and I'll get you some lollipops, I guess?

Anyway it's all over now. I survived 4 hours or so without checking Twitter every 10 mins, texting/calling, playing games, just surveying the apps to see what fun I can get. *pats on back*

I'm calmed. This is a good sign. I'll never repeat the same mistake again, this I promise myself. Like they always say, "Once bitten, twice shy." All the apps I downloaded are gone, though. But at least not the texts or photos or music or notes or anything else.

Thank you, God.

cooler than you

2011-01-30T16:42:00.003+08:00

I can't believe I neglected this place, almost totally. Anyway I wanted to blog about the first book I read in 2011. It was A Walk To Remember by Nicholas Sparks :)

I know there's a movie about it and I've heard about the story but didn't read the book. So I did after I came across it in the school library. It was for Eng oracy. Surprisingly I thought oracy was fun because similar to Show & Tell, all we had to do during Eng lessons was listen.

I admit I kinda expected how the ending would turn out like since I took a peek at the last chapt. Nevertheless, I thought twas an interesting book :) Goes out to all of you who likes a moving story. It'll be etched to your mind for awhile, but at least it's not some scary movie that's gonna haunt you, just enough to remind you that life's short; spend your days well.

Besides that, life's been good. All praises to God.

Hello Aq and Seri, I meet you guys soon I hope?

slapped

2011-01-16T20:09:00.000+08:00

I love going for talks. It may get really dull and bore the hell out of me but for some, it's really useful and worth going for. Hence, it depends.

My bro's school has camps every year for every level. I think most is at the start of the year kinda thing but there are others during the March/June holidays, etc. I wish our school had the same thing. It'll be good for us. The only time, perhaps, that'll make us reflect a lot upon everything that we've done.

So yesterday was the last day of his camp and there was a talk for parents as well as students. I accompanied my mum, not truly knowing what I'll be there for. The trainer had a good sense of humour and whatever he said wasn't lame or any of that sort, more to facts and reality so thumbs up for that. Moreover, he kinda knocked some sense into me. I was thankful I came.

Then the last part was the part that truly moved me. It was about appreciating people, appreciating your parents, and letting them know that you love them although you don't express it. Seri, if you're reading this, it was almost the same kind of talk that one of the Ustaz gave us during RYC. One by one, students volunteerily came up to say a few words, to express how sorry they feel when they scolded their parents, talked back, etc. They expressed their guilt and was being frank, telling their parents (who were present at the talk), about everything. Each and every problem they faced, etc. Everyone teared and that was what made the whole atmosphere a very saddening one. I can't help but to tear as well. I was truly, truly moved. It made me realise how lucky I was, how I had to make something happen instead of just waiting for it, how I want to do well for my studies after all that my parents/teachers have done for me. It was like a wake-up call.

Now, I'm down with a sore throat for no rhyme or reason. Which is sad, but cure-able duh. And I'm currently at RP with Fie, combining brains for the video. It'll turn out really well, I can see it. All of you shall wait and see :)

around for a reason

2011-01-12T21:31:00.000+08:00

A quickie!

I'm here because I just had to do some school stuffs using the laptop so I figured I'd spend a little time to update as well :)

School's been good. I can feel the pressure creepin' up on me already. Frankly, I have really high hopes for myself. And I don't know whether it's a good thing or otherwise. Maybe it's good, so that I can aim and work hard to achieve my goals. But on the other hand, I don't want to be disappointed because I jolly well know that expectations lead to disappointments. Either way, I'll work hard nevertheless. Afterall, I can only plan and work hard towards something that I want, but God determines it all.

Hopefully the following weeks to come will be as good and not too stressful. One step at a time, breathe. Relax, be consistent.

Have fun for the remaining days of the week, bloghoppers. Friday's coming :)

own Queen of Anything

2011-01-05T23:59:00.001+08:00

My daily look-out-and-dream scenery from where I sit.

First day of school.

I was frustrated for a while in the morning to know my pinafore was long and it felt weird. It's not me to like wearing short, revealing clothes of course. But I didn't like the pinafore in the first place because twas big, like in terms of width if not height. Though I know my mum re-altered it. Da hell, screw this part. Moving on!

So the first thing I saw when I entered school was a lot of Sec 1s standing around. I really wondered how my first day was like because I kinda forgot and it must've really been scary, no? Anyway I felt like a Sec 1 myself and felt more like it when I tried to log in and Access Denied! came up. *smacks head* But then of course, everything changed when I met the classmates! Happy and very excited to face the final year plus Os. It's seriously getting into me. Scares the shit out of me everytime I think about it.

And then the boring/tiring/body-achin' part was when we were at the hall. I sooooo dreaded Start Right workshop but in the end, I found it alright. A 'lil inspired after, to go all the way and study hard but, *shrugs* You never know. I might just drop to the floor and die. Ha.

And today's a good day :) Sure was for a second day haha. Hopefully tomorrow'll be average/fairly good as well! It's gonna be a long day.

Seven more months, two and just another two.

I'll survive, nevertheless.

ain't the end of the world

2011-01-03T22:50:00.000+08:00

I know it's the third day already but Happy New Year anyway :) I felt like sleeping through 2010 and wake up in 2011 but then I realised that'll be no fun so I just remained awake haha.

Before I start, here's just a 'lil something to share. I got this off Jason Mraz's blog. I don't stalk him, I found his blog from Twitter. So here's what he wrote, "When expectation fails, you're rewarded with good old-fashioned upset. But when a possibility fails, all you're left with is more possibility. This Possibility vs. Expectation is a simple transformative tool that can keep you from bloodying your knuckles when something goes awry." I love how true and powerful those statements are :)

Anyway just so you know I'm currently using my sis' laptop. I didn't want to neglect this space so I know I just had to update. And with my laptop? It'll be such a hassle. Too many wires, takes too much time. See that is why I need a new one. It was originally my sis', mind you. It has been about what, 6 years? It doesn't even have webcam. Sad to the max. But I'll wait. I'm actually waiting for Poly. That'll be in about 2 years but oh well, they say good things comes to those who wait :)

Yesterday was a good day! I was home alone for almost the whole day and became such a good girl by cleaning up the mess that I didn't finish two days ago. I feel so organized now! It definitely was hell during the process of cleaning up. I hate dust so much. It makes me sneeze. And sneeze. And get flu. And sneeze. And - you get my point.

But the good side wasn't all good really. I haven't got my homeworks done. And I don't feel anything right now. I don't feel scared, nor guilty. It feels weird but I think it got to me that I shouldn't do something that I don't want to do. I mean, what's the point of doing something just for the sake of doing? It's not like doing homework can get me As on my report card. Yes, I understand it still helps in a way because by doing homework, I practice. Still, don't talk to me about it during the holidays okay? Talk to me when school reopens. Talk to me about homeworks tomorrow.

On a much happier note, I shopped today. With my very first pay! I feel so happy :) Now I should get off and get some sleep. The bedsheet's changed about 5 mins ago. A pretty neat start for 2011.

Hopefully everything goes well tomorrow! It's gonna feel soooooo weird to not see the usual faces i.e same batch, Sec 4E and 4NT '10. Sigh, I miss all of it already!

things gonna change

2010-12-31T17:00:00.000+08:00

(via aceisbored)
Can we skip all the drama already? New year's here in exactly 7 hours and I'm tired of the hoo-ha about it. I understand it happens only after every 365 days but don't tell me I have to repeat myself and get all excited all my life? And write a summary of how great 2010 was, what I wish 2011 will be? I think I'm really just not in the mood. I wanna skip January as well. Everyone will be normal by then which is going to be a good thing.

I can already predict what will happen today, next year. People will say, "Enjoy life while you still can! 2012's going to be here. The world's going to enddddddd."

How pathetic.

I'm actually fine with having to welcome the new year with nothing special, just stayin' at home. I'm lucky enough to get to countdown last year at Khatib. If my dad were to allow me to countdown tonight, I'd be at Punggol East having a date with Taufik. But it's okay, I understand how a lot of incidents has happened out there and I'm fine with it. I've accepted that fact and hey, who says I'm alone? :)

Have a good time, folks.

hell yeah it's a problem

2010-12-31T16:04:00.001+08:00

I self-declare yesterday Butch Day. Why? Because all three people who served me was a butch.

First, I bought shoes. A guy in spectacles was supposed to serve me but I couldn't decide so I walked out of the shop. When I came back, a butch approached. The guy was still there, but he gave chance and let the butch served me. (I assume their job is commission-based.) Anyway everyone should know that I'm a very fussy person. That would be the only reason why I dislike shopping sometimes. Especially when I have to shop for stuffs that I need to try on. Like shoes. And shirts, maybe pants too. I'm indecisive and fussy like that. So I pitied my mum and sisters who had to follow me from shop to shop and wait for me try different shoes. I settled with one, that wasn't what I wanted at the very beginning but it's all right, I'm still a happy girl and contented :)

Second, was when I bought Dunkin' Donuts. I bought the 5 Free 1 and just as when I was about to pay, I realised the person behind the counter was a butch too. I'm like, WHUTTTTTT. By then it got to me, was it all just pure coincidence? I mean it sure was but what was God trying to tell me then? It was really freaky.

Lastly, was at Woodlands checkpoint. The person who checks the car boot. She was a freaking butch too.

I say, WHAT'S HAPPENING TO THE WORLD?

Don't tell me you don't find it weird. I have every reason to feel that way. I am so against the idea of liking the same gender. Yes I'm talking about lesbians and gays. Homosexual. I feel disgusted just thinking about it. I have friends who're homos and I don't really care much less want to understand how they lead their lives. I just mind my own business. To me, so long as they're nice to me and you don't create a fuss, we're cool.

All three are Malays, fyi.

thirtieth

2010-12-30T03:49:00.003+08:00

New year's nearing, the clock is ticking and I...... am scared HAHA. I'm not the least excited or feel any tinge of happiness at all that finally, 2010's leaving. I love this year. You can say I'm a little afraid of what's in for me next year. I'm not ready to face it. But of course, time doesn't wait for you and life moves on. So I guess whatever happens, happens.

Today was such a tiring day. It wasn't more of tiring, I think I just - wasn't in the mood and didn't feel well. Which made sense for the latter because we walked through the drizzling rain at Arab St and I admit I haven't been getting enough rest/sleep for these past few days. I must say it shouldn't be because of the number of hours. I slept for about 9 hours last night. Don't tell me that wasn't enough? I bet it's more to my bodyclock. Okay whatever it is, sleeping past midnight is bad enough for one's health!

So I finally uploaded the photos to FB. It was amazing HAHA Usually I don't upload that fast. Anyway it was really funny because right after I uploaded, FB went nuts for the next 10 minutes or so. People were suddenly liking and commenting the photos, i.e flooding my notifications. Even people who aren't in the album which included my primary school friend. Awkward. But nevertheless, I sure had fun being entertained and vice versa! I love it how I burst out laughing like nobody's business from photos/comments/anything at all :)

The photos actually decreased from 94 to 81 HAHA. And now I just deleted, or as FB says it, unfriended 51 friends. Why? Because I'm cool like that HAHA. Reason being, I dislike being friends with people who I don't really know and as long as we haven't talked, I don't know you. I don't mind schoolmates but people whom I've met through camps mostly (you know, post-camp madness when everyone adds each other on FB but doesn't talk at all -.-) and some of primary school friends that are extremely anon to me. HMMMM.

It's really late now. I don't know why I insisted to unfriend friends at a time like this and didn't wanna stop till I reached Z. I think it's just me, wanting to finish up where I started. But that's funny, how come it's not the same with homeworks?

Oh well.

too tired to care

2010-12-29T00:53:00.000+08:00

I'm so mentally drained right now.

So many things happening, so many things to plan (and unplanned, that's taking forever to happen), so many things to look forward to, so many things to face (in the near future that I'm obviously not prepared for), so many people changing (this, I don't really care), so many other so manys! UGH.

I didn't know life was this hard. I'm only sixteen. *sad face*

Okay today was great. The Hangs, Perempuan Punye! managed to complete the five scenes that is needed for the video. It was a lot of fun! All the dancing and laughing and camwhoring and kecoh that was neverending. We walked a lot hence our legs turned jelly and all everyone needed was a break. Which meant drinking and sitting HAHA. I'll upload the pictures on FB soon :)

Ah, another thing! We were all required to dress in an all-black attire so I wore something all-black (like literally) and I felt like a pure minah. Not gothic, mind you. It was like - I don't even know if there's any word to describe it HAHAHA. It just felt wrong and I was being so paranoid before I left my house. Maybe because of the leggings. But of course, after meeting the rest, it was like normal bcz they were all in black and I wasn't the only one in leggings!

Hang Ry just had to put on make-up for all of us so my face had eyeshadows and mosturizer and powder since God-knows-when. Twas all good though, everyone looked pretty and I love all of youuuuuuu.

Okay bye I need my sleep, my bolster, sleep, my bed, and my sleep :)

guitar smash

2010-12-27T23:31:00.004+08:00

*gasps* Guess what, I broke my vow and had Black Pepper Chix again. So much for not eating it in a month -.- I just had to have it in just 8 days. Now I feel like a fat monster it's not even funny. I don't get it, really. The more I say I want to lose weight, the more I eat. Right now though, I'm thinking it's because of my period that's coming which is the reason for my huge appetite. Still?

Anyway it's been awhile since I last blogged, I realised. Sorry for the short absence :)

So 2011's coming reeeeeally near. It's less than a week left considering the fact that it's past midnight now = Tuesday. This pretty sucks. Reality just hit me that I ask myself this, "What am I doing with my life?" Shit.

I am jealous okay, that most of others of the same age as me need not report for school in January next year. Sometimes I imagined myself in Express stream. I think I'd just die but what's the use of saying all of that now? God have made my life this way, I chose it to be this way. So be it.

That brings me to my next point. I have friends who have teachers as their parents. Then I thought to myself, if my parents were teachers, I wonder how drastic a change my life would be? Maybe I'd be many times smarter. Or maybe not so much of that, I bet it's more to discipline. Very strict discipline, at that. Because right now I think my parents are giving me too much freedom that I took advantage of and became a very, very lazy girl.

And that brings me to another point! Special, Express, NA and NT. I still don't get why the need to have different streams? I heard in my mum's time, they only had one stream. Which was NA. Which also meant normal. So why not stick with being normal and not make the others be abnormal? Okay I don't mean it in literal but, seriously? Don't you know that being in different streams, you are in a way separating the bond? It's really weird to be around each other, you know. It's like Special/Express versus NA/NT. And there'll never be a game over. Or so I assume. I've been noticing especially this year, the year when I passed by a lot of different people, that we don't know each other. We may be in the same school, wearing the same uniform, singing the school song every Monday together, singing the National anthem everyday, celebrating school events together, but - we don't know each other. How sad is that?

'Nuff said.

RIGHT NOW I'M SO ANNOYED I FEEL LIKE BASHING SOMEONE UP.

Don't get me wrong, I don't feel like bashing someone up because of what I just ranted. It's because of a whole different matter. Damn.

what's edible?

2010-12-19T19:59:00.006+08:00

Hello everybodyyyyy. *imitates Barbarella* Hahaha okay that was bloody random. (Hey say it with a British accent, like how Harry Potter would say it. It sounds nicer. BLOODY.) I bet u did that after reading HAHA.

Damn, I sidetracked a lot. So anyway, did I mention that I was craving for KFC's black pepper chicken badly yesterday? Like I really, really, really wanted to try it. Well I did actually, once at Bugis Village. But I think the person gave me the original one. Yeah, wtfasdkljshfvm. I let the matter rest, of course. I didn't really care at that time.

But today, I made sure the person behind the counter gave me the right one! And she did. So I got home, still dressed the same way when I got out of my house and ate to my heart's content :) I felt like a pig. Oh well.

I had these 2 pieces of chicken + coleslaw + cheesefries. *shakes head* Now that I've satisfy my crave, I shall be a good girl and not eat fastfood in a month :) That should be easy. Heh I refuse to say junkfood because I'll definitely need my Calbee potato chips whenever!

Speaking of junkfood, does chocolates count? Hahaha I seriously blame holidays for eating too much. And not studying. I act like Os are over for me when really, I have to start revising.

But it's always easier said than done, right? :)

Of course there's no harm in trying though. I'm actually planning to attempt that final question of POA since I have to hand it in tomorrow. Sigh. Studies, I hate you so much.

all the small things

2010-12-19T00:07:00.005+08:00

Ah, it's been sometime since I last uploaded pictures to Blogger! So anyway, today I baked Chocolate Cake :) It's my first time trying Betty Crocker's mix. I admit I was a little confused at first. It's like I wanted to bake brownies but realised if I wanted to, I don't need the mix. I should've bought the brownies mix or something instead haha. And for the first time, I did the frosting first before I did the cake.

It turned out well, of course. Just a little lop-sided on the top (and I blame the oven, my mum blames it too :P) but other than that, all's good (y)

This is the cake fresh from the oven! -

And here's the frosting, which I thought looked like mayo or mustard. The texture too haha.

And of course, after doing some final touches, here's the lovely cake :)

I thought twas so pretty I didn't even wanna cut it hahaha. Just let it be in the fridge! It's quite big, I might wanna give some to the neighbours or something. Doubt the family can finish it all soon though I bet my dad will gladly volunteer to be the one to finish all of it haha.

On a different note, I bought Hershey's yesterday from Resorts World Sentosa. My first time there and I gotta say, I was really fascinated by a lot of things last night. It was funny. I wanted to get something extraordinary but because I didn't bring enough money, I settled for Hershey's. Wanted to get Reese's too, but I decided not to. Then for all you know, my elder brother got home and I saw Reese's chocolates on the dining table HAHA. I call it FATE :P

All these eating of chocolates sure gonna get me fat than I already am. But oh well, I live to eat :P And I know I haven't been religiously cycling to the stadium and run like how I used to, I guess I'll make up for it - tomorrow? I think haha.

Oh and for the record, last night gotta be the most awesome for this holidays. Especially the part when I got home at 1 in the morning? HEHE It was epic. I felt good. The last time I got back that late, not with the familia, would be Countdown 2010. Long way back, aye?

And then I found out my 'lil sis got a new pair of footwear! From Crocs sale that happened in Expo yesterday? It's so cute I want one for myself too. But I bet it won't look as cute then HAHA.

Have a good Sunday everyone! x

pathetic

2010-12-17T00:45:00.006+08:00

I'm sick and tired of the words that play in my mind. When I'm busy, or don't have much time in my hands, suddenly A LOT of things come to mind and I want to do this and that. When the time comes, when I actually have TIME in my hands, I don't know what to do with it. Suddenly that to-do list disappears. I thought of writing it somewhere though, like in a planner? But I guess I don't know where to start. And it's not like I'll be loyal to the planner anyway.

I haven't even freakin' read my book which I borrowed for about -- I can't even remember when! That's how LONG it has been, I guess? Hmmm.

Today is Friday the 17th already. What have I been doing? Having fun. What have I been doing that has something to do with studies? Nothing.

Congratulations.

if only money grows on trees

2010-12-16T01:16:00.005+08:00

I am soooo sleepy right now. But look! I checked my stats and I got to know that I had visitors from Singapore, US, Germany, Austria, Italy, UK, Canada, Australia, Saudi Arabia and Belgium -- when I didn't even know they exist. Wow hahaha. But this is eversince I had this blog, not only recently so it's been like ages ago? :)

Anyway I spent yesterday out to Marina Square. I watched Rapunzel with my sister and her friends. Yeah, pretty weird I know haha myself a 16year-old mixing with ladies who're 24year-olds. But nevermind that, it's the company that matters! You can mix with a 4year-old and talk all day long too, right?

Rapunzel was expectedly good. I heard good comments about it like how it was funny and all so when I finally caught it, I gotta say I agree. It's like Bolt, I dk why? But yay I caught Narnia and Rapunzel and definitely looking forward to more movies :) It's just the feeling you don't get when you watch them at home. The huge screen, the sound system (though during Rapunzel, they faced some problems and I still hate you for that, GV), the feeling of watching together with a lot of other people - yeah, pretty much all of that.

P.S: I think it reminded me of Bolt because I watched it earlier on Disney before I left home hahaha.

Today I went to Pasir Ris! It gives me the creeps, I tell you. But nonetheless, I had fun :) Especially after the trip back from chalet to Downtown East when I spotted afew stuffs that were really nice. I wanted to get them, especially that bag but it costs 18 bucks. And 18 bucks for a bag so simple like that one, kills. If only it was 10.

Sad life, isn't it? Without money? Then again, money isn't everything so I guess it's either I get more of the NEEDs and not WANTs or learn to be contented with whatever I have (which I definitely am) -- or both.

irreplaceable

2010-12-14T01:14:00.002+08:00

Yay I finally settled for the right skin and did some changes to it. Mainly I wanted to have the time for the posts and archives. Well I wanted archives at first but I wanted the drop down box kinda thing and couldn't find the right codes so it's okay, I'll settle for this at the moment.

Thanks to @Shaadmiiraa, I've decided to relive this blog and fill up this space. Whoa I think I've said that over a thousand times! It's not like I totally abandoned it anyway haha I mean I did come here to rant still. Just when I really really felt low and felt like there was noone I could talk to.

Hopefully this time it's for real, what's with having the new skin and all. *shows peace sign*

Life's been good this holidays. I sure have some bitter memories but I guess God's ever fair and when I think about it, I think the number of good days I had outweighed the bad days. Anyway as cliche as this may sound, life has its ups and downs. And you can't run away from it. Duh.

So I miss Blogger a lot. I really miss those times when I have outing with friends and I'll update about it at the end of the day. Then I'll check others' and read theirs' as well. Not to forget the tagging part. Ah, good ol' days!

Now everyone's on Tumblr. Which isn't fun okay, it's all about reblogging and getting jealous over the pictures you see. It will never be the same as Blogger :')

in hope you'll change

2010-11-05T12:37:00.003+08:00

I'm really sad. Why can't you see that you play quite a huge role in our lives hence you've got to be someone whom we can highly respect and look up to?

It's all up to you how all of this'll work. With all the goods that you've taught us or showed us through your actions, we shall follow. But when I think about it - when I think about the bad - I feel really sad.

I wonder where the old you has gone. Maybe it's still there, but it's just the ego that's keeping you away - from showing your real self, deep inside that hard heart of yours.

I hope Arwah Yut, Nenek and Atuk and the rest who've passed on hears me. I really do.

Please change. For the sake of your children, your wife, your parents and yourself.

I wish you knew

2010-10-14T18:41:00.005+08:00

Alright, I just had a quick flashback after reading through the blog archives. You know, this kind of thing? It's temporary. It's definitely a place for you to pour out your feelings and thoughts but have you ever wondered what next? At least for books you get to keep them but after awhile too, you'll stop writing and it'd be junk as you get on with your busy life. Perhaps only when you're packing up or free (like really free, like nothing better to do) that you'll take it out and write again as well as read the past but - well I don't know, you can never be sure.

So the EOYs are over, and I'm having a post-exam break currently. Just within two days, I feel like I've spent alot. My heart aches when I bring 40 bucks out but only to come back with 10 or even lesser. Like noooo don't fly away, Money :(

Thank you to friends whom I've hung out with recently that have made me realised that I still got you guys' back :) Like they always say, you got my back as well yeah!

Now I should really manage my time wisely and put aside one time to transfer photos and pick out photos to be developed. Adios!

Let's talk. About anything at all. Don't brush me away, please?

when things get emotional

2010-10-07T19:19:00.003+08:00

This is seriously not a good time to feel like this, Heart. Get a hold of yourself, please. Do not let anything bring you down. I know there may have been the ups and downs in life but just because you feel like people are ignoring you, like how you feel on your birthday this year, JUST GET A GRIP AND MOVE ON. Life has to go on and you have papers to sit for tomorrow. What's worse, it's a Mathematics paper. Please don't be like this. Please straighten out your thinking and don't feel so insecure. Don't fucking think too much, will you? Just stop it. Stop feeling things that are not necessarily true and think seriously fucking too much.

Leave it. Leave everything behind and look forward to the papers. Just afew more to go. Imagine if all of this never happened. Imagine you never hung out with the people you did and be close to them like how you are now. Don't fucking care about anyone else no more. Because you know they don't appreciate the things you do so what's the point?

Anyway since you've deactivated your fucking FB account now, it somehow lifted quite a weight in your heart, doesn't it? Now you don't need to feel paranoid if someone wrote bad things on your wall and people read it that's why they ignored you or something. And now you don't have to stalk people, look at their photos and read stuff and know things that you don't favour.

The feelings'll go away if you let them. Go and study to distract yourself. Have a Maths marathon today for hours. Just think ONLY about Maths tonight to tomorrow. After that, after Malay P2, go study POA and have fun shopping. Retail therapy, okay?

And then Saturday will come sooner than you know it and you'll be having fun. With the familia. You see, things aren't that bad as you see it as. Everything'll be fine. Everything's good. This is temporary. It's for awhile to test how strong you are. Allah is testing your patience. You can get through this.

Everything will come to an end.

that feeling

2010-08-08T23:30:00.006+08:00

I guess nobody will understand how I feel. Nobody's gonna.

You know I miss that feeling of being special in someone's eyes. I know this is all wrong to begin with but even though there's so many guys I've talked to or been talking to, it's not the same as talking to someone you like and who likes you back as well. That kind of infatuation going on but it's just - you guys just - take it slow and enjoy the ride. All this while I may have been lying to myself. That part about moving on after my last relationship? That was the truth. It was all true but what isn't is that I found someone better to like. You get it? I've moved on. I've moved on with my life. But not with someone.

As much as I hate facing the reality that people are so deeply in love today and around me while I stay put and watch them, feeling jealous, I start to wonder - Why? Why is all of this happening?

For awhile now, I've been hoping. Hoping so much that it feels as if I made a vow to myself to fall in love instantly with whoever the guy is that will write me love letters. I just want someone enough to make me feel special. I don't want a boyfriend. I don't need one. Just someone to be there for me through thick and thin.

To make matters worse, I feel like I have noone at this point of time. Like noone would stop and listen. Hear me out for a moment - maybe even just for five minutes. Everyone's caught up with their own lives, everyone's got their own problems. I stop to listen to their woes but have they done the same for me? When I speak a little about how I'm feeling or what I wanna do, it's like - they brush me aside or something. Some changed the topic and we'll start talking like I never said what I said. Didn't they hear me? Didn't they wanna know? Didn't they care?

It's like we're running out of time and my patience is no longer here. Ya Allah, please help me.

sian-ness

2010-07-10T00:36:00.002+08:00

Previous post was darn right emo! Hahaha I can't believe it. Anyway life's been good. Pretty hooked to Baking Life thanks to my lovely friends x) In school, we spend 2/5 of our time talking about it because we're cool like that hehe. Even right now, I'm playing it.

(Okay la basically nothing to post about but I wanna remove the previous post so here's something la, hor)

someone like you

2010-07-05T03:04:00.007+08:00

Initially, I wanted to change my 'website' under my information on Facebook but I figure it'd be too risky. I don't really mind friends reading but family? Relatives? I won't have as much freedom to write about anything anymore and then it'd just be pointless to keep this place as a place where I can let everything out.

Anyway, today was definitely a better day than yesterday. Thank you, Shafila and Syazwan for cheering me up :) And to Hadirah, who took the time to teach me SS all this while. We even had a filling stomach after Starbucks and Hei Sushi earlier hehe caya lah!

Today's the day. I was counting down like I was counting down to the new year. Thank you to all for the wishes be it through texts or MSN or FB :) Especially to you xhzd, the one that was the first to wish me on FB. I really like you and I treasure our friendship. I know you're not just a friend and I hope you don't treat me the same way or worst - as a sister. Judging from how we interact for the past week, I know there's more to that. If you really think you're putting the wrong impression and gave me false hopes, then out with it already. Please don't waste my time. I'd love it if we remain like this for a very long time but I know it's impossible. Yeah I feel jealous for the littlest things that you did (and you prolly not know why or what) but maybe that's because I've fallen for you. However, I feel like there's so many barriers between us. And that you're drifting apart. The only way I could reach you is online. Please try to understand? If I could, I swear I'd sneak out to meet you and hug you tight. I know that it's all temporary. I'm fully aware that I've been there and done that. I'm clueless myself as to why all of this is happening. I just hope that it might be different this time. I need someone. Someone like you.

I wish you got into this place by some miracle and know how I feel.

just because

2010-07-03T22:52:00.005+08:00

Because I have nothing else better to do. Because I thought I might just relive this blog for once. Because I think that at this point of time in my life, I should just rant like nobody's business. Because I miss having something to say to myself, be it as a reminder or just to let out the feelings and thoughts inside my head. Because I think it sucks to have a birthday just two days away (soon it'll be one) and not have any plans. Because I think I've gone bonkers and lost my drive to having fun, to go out and play, to laugh hard for the littlest things.

Because I really miss all of it. The people I used to hang out with. The people who I know as my friends. Where are you guys?

I'm beyond optimistic sometimes

2010-01-21T18:34:00.007+08:00

ON HIATUS.

I apologise for being such an ass at making decisions. I've always been. Just that this time, it's not my fault :D

There have been so many things on my mind recently, to be frank. I think it's unhealthy that I'm thinking alot too. I can feel it already. I hope I don't get sick! At least not anytime soon lol.

So there have been memories that I can't forget, but I forgave anyway because I'm nice like that :) Truth is, maybe I really had high hopes on you. Maybe I really thought that yknow, even if we won't be together, we'll be close friends. I didn't expect us to be in the situation we are right now. We don't talk anymore. At all. What are we now? Strangers? That was unexpected.

I've been spending most of my time in school. Like today. It's exhausting and I hate it how we have to endure no matter how much we're against it. Like cmon lah, there'll still be homework to be completed overnight. As if lessons in school aren't enough :(

Yes, I'm complaining. I will not - let me repeat - will not stop complaining. I can't live one day of not doing it. And I know you can't too :)

What's my lesson learnt? To never judge people too soon. Not by its cover, but too soon. But that's just me. I can try, though.

said I despise said I adore you

2010-01-11T21:06:00.003+08:00

Okay this' gonna be a short one!

Firstly, I hate you. And you. And you. For making me wait and for fooling me.

Secondly, I am sooo proud of myself that I survived 2 hrs of POA today and I went for CCA since forever :) Haha I think I'll be coming more often because there's seriously alot of events lining up for us!

Thirdly, I love you. And you. And you. For being there for me and you're probably the only one I'm willing to waste my texts on. Strange, eh?

gimme a title

2010-01-09T20:48:00.004+08:00

Eeeek, I ordered Nasi Goreng Seafood but I don't feel like eating it now.

Anyway, it's only a matter of days that I abandoned this blog haha. Bad habit, me!

Sooooo let me have a brief summary of what happened for the first week of school:

I was damn right excited for it. After 2 months of not attending, I shan't deny I missed it haha. Then school started and yada, new classmates, a workshop that ended at 4.40pm, back home and everyt. I dreaded the workshop man, but it was quite useful and fun anyway :)

Second day ended with EFL dragging to 3pm. Another long day and I was like, 6 more months to my birthdaaay! Hahaha smt random for someone who was tired and bored uh. By this day too, friends said I pangseh-ed them haha walao I'll make it up to you people la. Movie outing k!

Third was when school started late and after getting back home at 3+ close to 4pm, I had less than 2 hours or so to get ready again and go out for training. Of which, ended at 10.30pm and I reached home an hr after. I couldn't take it already at that point of time haha, so exhausted.

On Thursday, I had a very hard time to wake up. It felt like I only had 2 hrs of sleep when I had what, 5? We had PE as well. And we had to run and climb up stairs of 5-storeys high twice. My legs sure felt like breaking but it was surely worth it :D

Kay then Friday came, which was yesterday and it was looove! School as per normal and it was awesome because we only had 4 subjects and totally slacked haha. After school, an hr of for lunch and off we went to SP :D Got to roam around and get to know interesting courses they offer and spent about 3 hrs plus there. Then I was off to City Hall to meet Zulfy and we went back to school for the Sec 1's campfire. And that was when it all happened! The craziness, the partyin' atmostphere, the loud music, the great company, the dance grooves to the music, the hyper feeling sank in. Right in.

I listened to Mirza playing the piano, went towards the swing and swung with Juli, said bye to the rest and Hadi, walked out of school with Fadhil Sai Shad Sya (in alphabetical order haha), stopped by CC for restroom and snapping of photos, walked to McD for supper, dropped by Cheers to get somebody his choc, parted with Fadhil and Sya, trained home with Sai and Shad, waited for somebody and passed him his chocs, reached home before 11pm and yeah :)

That pretty much sums up the 5 days :D Happy reading la eh haha. As for today, I went to Wlds lib and borrowed afew books. I can't complain of not having to do anyt now!

enlighten me

2010-01-04T18:55:00.006+08:00

You've been avoiding me. I don't know why. I don't know what's wrong. I don't know what wrong have I done or anything at all. Tell me - tell me right to my face what's wrong. I know you're not ready, I understand there's Os, I think I'm not ready either - at least I tried. I tried to be a friend. To be someone that'll be there for you when you're down in the dumps or high in the sky. I was definitely fine with us being just friends. There wasn't any harm done or whatsoever. Wasn't it okay to being friends? Wasn't it okay to just be a little more than friends? Wasn't it okay? I could still take it if you're busy with stuffs and wish not to talk to me. Just don't ignore me totally.

Seriously.

fine, don't talk to me

2010-01-03T20:22:00.004+08:00

Today was quite a good day :) I mean it started off well until later when I found out I couldn't go out! But twas understandable la for the fact that I've been going out non-stop everyday and I am seriously lacking of rest. Eversince Christmas, I remember. Oh well, at least I got to rest and get some sleep in the afternoon heh.

Shad and I ran about three rounds non-stop and I was damn shiz proud of us! It's been so long and three rounds NON-STOP was amazing hahahaha. Good job, panas partner :D :D :D

THERE'S SCHOOL TOMORROW. Eeek, it was like a week to school and then 2 days and then now it's tomorrow. I can't believe it and I'm gonna dread it for sure, but at the same time I'm quite excited to see all the people :D Woot.

twas a sign

2010-01-02T16:30:00.004+08:00

I'm so shagged! Today's prac was a huge difference as compared to the previous ones. The weather especially, was being such a bitch that caused everyone to get all cranky and whiny. Ughhh I'm having a headache already :( All's not bad in the end anyway, after we got our lunch and B&J's ice-cream heeee :D

Yknow frankly, my plan was to finish up all the homeworks by today. At least until it's time for me to go off to meet the cousins for some catching up at 6pm. Unfortunately, me being me, procrastinated and since I'm too exhausted to even think right now I'd rather just sleep or drown myself into some music before getting ready for later hahaha.

Kay dah I shall go upload picts and transfer songs from the phone to the iPod!

PS: Look at the daaate! It's so awesome haha reverse digits of the year :)

awesome craze shiz

2010-01-01T15:48:00.002+08:00

Oh my god I miss this space. It's been such a long time and since it's the new year, I've decided to revive it :)

As usual, year by year, it feels indifferent. I mean yeah new year woohoo new resolutions yeah yada boo. It all comes down to one thing every single time. Insecurity.

I felt it before and I'm feeling it again. You know, the feeling when you stop everything and realise that hey new year's here like what the hell am I doing I have homework to finish and there's school next week and I'm so fucking scared of what's instored for meee.

Bleah I shall put that aside for now. BUT SERIOUSLY I'M PARANOID.

K anyway I love Taufik Batisah alot and watching him perform live right infront of my two eyes was just amazing. I even got to touch his hand last night and I was over the moon by then! It was my first and definitely a memorable one. I won't forget the last day of 2009. Ever.

And I love you HAZIQ ABD HALIM for accompanying me throughout and not complain when I was hyperventilating and just wouldn't stfu. I love you too NURAMIRA SHADRINA for meeting me yestd and spending the first few minutes of 2010 with meh! I hope 2010's gonna be a blast for us all ♥ ♥ ♥

hehhh

2009-10-23T18:36:00.000+08:00

OVER AND OUT.

'til whenever I feel like going back here, again.

2009-09-19T04:41:00.000+08:00

I'm going BLUE this year :) You?

wohhh

2009-09-12T10:31:00.004+08:00

Right. So I apologise to those who've come here numerous times only to find the same exhausted post all over again!

(If anyone ever comes here, anyway) (Damn, that is such a common phrase) (But really, whoever, me love you okay) (Okay back to posting-)

I've not been busy. Just a little lazy (and I've said this before, time and again). Man, I love to complain :)

Sept hols are ending. I'm not done with Maths because I don't have a bloody fulscap/foolscap. It's frustrating but it is what it is. I couldn't get out to get new ones because shops are not opened at 7am. Not until now. So I'll most prolly get off soon and buy a whole stack of it :) 10's a nice number.

Then I needn't get so tense everytime it finishes.

Side note. This may be the second last post (last would be a goodbye *sad music on the background*) because I'm listening to Chris B's Say Goodbye in Ziq's blog. There's never a right time, you know. Just never...

FTW. Reason being, I've moved to another island :) Far far away from here...

K 'nuff said. Take care all!

taking in stride

2009-09-01T15:23:00.005+08:00

I'm exhausted.

Yesterday have got to be the thirstiest day of the month. Firstly, I was already yawning - and I just did as I type that - plus, with the sunny weather that made me feel so warm, restlessness is all I could feel. Even right now, as I type, I don't know what I should do. It's just lazyness or something that's creeping up on me. If only I like the feeling of that :( Maybe it's one of the times when I just need to get up, get out and take a breather. Or exercise! At least do something that keeps me perspire and active.

So anyway, I went back to JPS to catch up with alot of friends and visit the teachers. Was supposed to meet Tazi at Yis but he ditched. I ended up making my way there alone but still met him and afew others outside the school gate. They allowed only 20 to enter at a time which was something different, I thought.

Then it was as per norm - little conversations here and there, some laughters, lots of reminiscing moments, etc. I really miss them alot. I thought of the times when we would tease each other when someone likes someone, when we walked to Malay class chattering away loudly, when we had so much to talk about during Malay lessons, when we had afew misunderstandings and catfights, when we would stayback till late to help each other with schoolwork or just to slack, when we would have tonnes of jokes to share, when we would run about at the netball court catching each other - all of those. I wish there are some videos that I could look back upon and smile. There were so much to remember that I couldn't depend on my memory.

I couldn't deny I felt a little awkward, though. Seeing the fact that not many from my batch went to Andss, I saw many with their cliques. They look so comfortable and happy whilst I, just felt a little odd. Sometimes I wish we could have a reunion of which we can really bond all together again and talk about anything under the Sun like the old times. But perhaps that isn't possible. Or maybe we, too, haven't find a right time yet, if that's the case.

Nevertheless, I'm still happy to see all of you guys :) And no matter what happens, know that I'll always be here for you. Just beep me anytime, okie.

-

I finally made my IC yesterday too haha. For now, I shall cuddle myself in bed and watch TV until I could think of something else better to do!

bloody

2009-08-28T23:08:00.002+08:00

My lips are killing me. I need a lip-balm! Or Bonjela. Fast. Now. Damn.

And I want to go shopping. Tomorrow :)

It's been a week now. I'm glad things are doing well.

Alhamdulillah.

hunger

2009-08-26T19:00:00.003+08:00

I found out that the calculator is really an awesome thing. Especially after we learnt Binomial Theorem during Maths today. Of which, I realised I learn it before at tuition a looong time ago. That's why I didn't care :)

Doing Maths at home isn't helping. I foresee myself doing more of it in school from now on haha.

Haziq, your dream was hilarious ;) Get well soon, Sayang!

when it grumbles

2009-08-25T18:09:00.002+08:00

Today was a pretty challenging one. But I'm persevering for I keep reminding myself that it's a test, a test and a test. I won't be surprised if there'll be more to come anyway. I CAN GET THROUGH THIS. InsyaAllah :)

On a lighter note, I'm quite satisfied with the results so far. Got a strong feeling that I'm going to fail the same old subjects, though. Oh well.

halfway

2009-08-22T13:31:00.001+08:00

We watched this last Sunday during madrasah. I'm sharing this because I hope the non-Muslims could get to know a little bit of information about Ramadhan and hopefully, those who haven't been listening and fasting every single day for years now, would be reminded of how important it is.

-

Oh did I mention that I simply love the holy month of Ramadhan? Because of so many reasons. For which one, is because I get to wake up very early. Meaning, there'll be time to study for a test or finish some undone homework while waiting to leave the house for school. You get to save money too. Maintain peace, relationships gets stronger for some, gain someone else's trust, start believing, start reflecting, make someone smile, and lots more!

-

To feel the lack of loss of. To let go by. To fail to perceive, understand, or experience. To regret the absence or loss of.

Miss.

That's how I'm feeling right now.

feelings

2009-08-22T11:16:00.002+08:00

I've been up since Sahur just now. This is what happens when you don't use the comp daily:

1) Too lazy to even switch it on.
2) After doing so anyway, you start checking out what you've missed out on.
3) You start reading blogs, viewing profiles after profiles on FB, chat with some mates, etc.
4) Get carried away eventually, until you even forgot to do what you intended to do in the first place (ie blogging, research for some work, etc)
5) Therefore, getting carried away = big number of hours wasted infront of the comp.

:D Agree, anyone?

-

This doesn't feel good. My neck hurts now -.- I should probably bathe right after this and study after or get back to sleep XD (Though I know this isn't really possible. Oh well.)

-

Can't wait for later! It's been sometime. We shall camwhore. It's a must :D

-

The fact that it's the first day of Ramadhan, I shall not be entertained by unecessary stuffs that doesn't concern me. I shouldn't even bother about you, because whatever you does hurts the other party and that will be between you and God. But know that if he's hurt, I'd feel sorry because I know him. Just know him.

-

There's never a right time to say goodbye.

thanks

2009-08-16T03:06:00.004+08:00

The final product is done and over with. After all those hard work and time, the cast and crew of Splat's Pickg Up The Pieces Musical can finally get their rest and be proud of what they've done :) Congrats, you guys! All of you were awesome.

(Photos up on FB.)

♥

suck balls

2009-08-11T22:01:00.002+08:00

:D
Moodswings suck. Just to clarify too, previous post was just for an ease of mind on my part. I realised, it didn't really is directed to only a person. There was alot of thoughts put into it, combined into one, for whoever it may concern. I really am not bothered anymore. As long as I'm occupied with something :)

I blame Zul for making me reminisce of last year's wonderful memories. There was so much to reminisce that I couldn't exactly put it into words. I can't even remember some of them which is damn sad :( I really wish we could turn back in time!

And if you haven't notice, SARAH AQILAH ROCKS. Kay throat pain alrd of all that shouting XD

sometimes

2009-08-10T20:04:00.005+08:00

You.

Sometimes I feel like screaming to your face, sometimes I want to talk to you (talk about alot of things), sometimes I want to do some catching up with you, sometimes I want to walk up to you and ask how are you doing, sometimes I wonder why we're like how we are right now, sometimes I want you to know that I still care, sometimes I really miss you, sometimes I wonder whether you're going through the same as I am, sometimes I want to go out with you and have fun, sometimes I want you to know that I miss the old times, sometimes I wish you're the one that I could turn to whenever I feel down, sometimes I think maybe you didn't reply my texts because I sent to the wrong number (yes, silly me) (and yes, I deleted to forget you), sometimes I wish that is true, sometimes I wish you're here beside me, sometimes I wish what happened didn't happen in the first place, sometimes I thought I brought this upon myself so I've got no one else to blame, sometimes I want an explanation from you, sometimes I really wonder what's so great about you that it's hard for me to forget, sometimes I want you to never exist, sometimes I want you to be the one who starts the conversation, sometimes I wish you'd tell me that you felt (at least) a tinge of regret for what you've done, sometimes I want to forget all the memories we had, sometimes I tell myself that it was only a month of good memories so why the heck brood over it, sometimes, there's just too much to say.

& most of the time, you're stucked in my head and I feel like a fool.

this is home, truly

2009-08-10T17:49:00.013+08:00

I'm updating only after 2 hours plus after logging in. Loser.

Anyway, the past three days've been busy.

On Friday, there was a carnival at school and it was the bomb. The whole atmosphere was pretty hyped up with red and white beings everywhere. Lots of interesting booths as well :) Truth be told, I didn't really got busy on foot that day. Spent most of the time at Inspire Town watching awesome people battling out on Guitar Heroes! I had the urge of wanting to try myself and so I did, in the end. When most of the people already left, obviously haha. So I sang with Jia Hao playing the drums and Zul together with YJ on the guitars. We played What I've Done by Linkin Park since it probably is the easiest song out of all the others and for once, I felt like a rockstar taking over the "stage" :D There isn't that much pictures because of obvious reasons duh haha.

JH wasn't in photo :(
That aside, I finally had laksa during lunch with Nat along with Syairah, Azlin, Haziqah and Zul after school. I like how laksa tastes like when eaten together with the cockles :D

The girls left earlier and the remaining us took photos of ourselves together after that.

Want fight ah? Come ah. Lol.
-

Saturday was to JB and I got myself afew things that I'm quite contented with. Other than that, the day was spent eating and eating as per usual :P

-

Then on Sunday, yesterday, I woke up early as if it was a school day to do CIP. I'm kinda glad I could wake up because the previous night was spent on late night calls and I was too hyper to go to sleep haha. We had to help serve food at the event where PM Lee actually came and twas all good. Pretty slacked but I still enjoyed myself anyway.

A pity my ballon burst (and I blame the grass, thanks). Haha but Elyn was so nice that she gave hers to me but in the end, I gave it to a little boy instead. The name's Nigel, I think. As what his mother called him :D

And then I took my first LRT around that area. I've only took at Sentosa or Changi Airport but never at Farmway. Pretty much exciting but all the same as MRT anyway haha.

I spent my time lazing around that afternoon. Just because I didn't wanna go out and be among the crowd. Claustrophobia man, like seriously -.-

-

Today. I did Malay. Keratan akhbar and that's that. Damn.

when you say nothing at all

2009-08-06T20:38:00.004+08:00

I guess right now, the safest place to be at - is home.

-

It's been weeks now that I'll update the blog while the television is on. And the show that's on would be Singapure Syok. Why eh? It's like dejavu. Haizad's adorable anyway.

-

Today felt odd. All alone and I probably am too used to having people around me that for once, when they went away and gone, forgotten all about me, I didn't know which path to take. Lost.

-

On a much lighter note, girls, do visit here when you have the time ;)

-

Hopefully tomorrow's a better day! Can't waittt.

keep trying

2009-08-04T22:09:00.004+08:00

Shall take today as a lesson. From today onwards, I'll have Vit C more often. Because I can, and because I need it :D

-

I FINALLY PASSED. I'm really thankful for what You have shown me. And for Your guidance. Alhamdulillah.

ooh lala cornie picks

2009-08-02T21:40:00.008+08:00

As promised, I shall blog about yesterday. A quick one!

Photoshoot at Marina Barrage was awesome. Our similar tops are so pretty and colourful that every photo taken is fabulouso :D I've also concluded that taking photos with the grass and sky are always beeeautiful.

The plan that took place weeks ago finally came. An outing with Nat that took us ages to make it happen haha. We had deep conversations that we haven't had for a long time (like seriously) and I enjoyed every minute of it. Tonnes of stories, smiles and laughter shared and we shall do this monthly from now on!

I thank you for the kick-ass hilarious and fun day, for trusting me, and or all that we've shared, it'll only be between us. Love you lots, Chemist! ;)

Oh, and something else. Unexpected, we saw my primary school friends and I swear I miss them. They were celebrating Fad's birthday and I guess all of them overtook me alrd :( I need to grooow. Anyway here's wishing you a blessed and awesome birthday, Fadeelah! :)

-

Today, I fasted. Without waking up for Sahur, you have no idea how upset my stomach was. It kept on grumbling but I persevered through. Despite having smelled whatever food that very much tempted me, despite seeing someone drinking bubble-t, despite seeing the delicious-looking food on the cover of a cookbook I saw at the library, despite the crave I had for Starbucks, despite all of that; I GOT THROUGH IT.

I'm glad it did because it wasn't easy, what with my moodswings. You should really go away.

-

Isman, your face is haunting me -.-

-

Shit. Tomorrow's Monday. Another long day at school. Make that a dreadful week. Like last week. So many things are going to happen and lots of things are needed to be done!

don't say i didn't try

2009-08-01T23:54:00.003+08:00

I shall blog about today, tomorrow.

I can't think straight.

My legs are aching bad and it's killing me!

in need

2009-07-30T20:46:00.005+08:00

Of security, assurance, perhaps?

Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact. -Henry James

Just another emotional breakdown.

I really need someone to really talk to at this point of time. Someone who I can really trust, someone who would just hear whatever problems I'm facing right now and have all the explainations and solutions to it. Maybe I should even make it clear and express my deepest feelings/regret which I've kept for a long time now, to the people who're concerned.

If only starting a conversation was that easy.

exhaustion

2009-07-25T11:56:00.003+08:00

I'm too tired to move around. I'm even more tired to speak.

Just like the butterfly.

(It was stucked on the windscreen haha.)

beauty sleep

2009-07-23T22:45:00.000+08:00

I think I heard someone say something about this year's NDP song. That it isn't that brilliant. I beg to differ please. The song just makes me wanting to sing to it :D Plus, it's an inspirational song, just like No Boundaries or The Climb. So thumbs up aye!

Hello Mustafa.

funny person

2009-07-22T21:50:00.004+08:00

Thank you for cheering me up. Thank you for the songs that made me smile and the butterflies that's inside my stomach :)

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all,
even if saving you sends me to heaven.

long live

2009-07-22T21:18:00.003+08:00

I feel like moving. To somewhere. Else.

I swallowed a chewing gum today.

It's been a ride.

it's time for sayang sayang

2009-07-20T23:36:00.007+08:00

Ice Clan <3
The movie Harry Potter & THBP was interesting. All the sound and visual effects were great but I don't think it goes the same for the storyline. Gotta admit though, during the scene on which Dumbledore died, it brought tears to my eyes. Like all these years he was there for Hogwarts and all of a sudden, he's gone :/ Everyone said WTF or showed the 'look' after the show as the ending was pretty disappointing. Just catch it if you want to since I suck at reviews and I shan't rant about it further :)

Our plan eventually succeeded. To bugis to accompany Amiirawr for some shopping and then off to NLB for homeworks. Productive much. After that over dinner, I had Hokkien Mi and was full after that since they serve in large portions! But nvmd, it's worth it haha.

I'm tired. Prolly won't blog about RHD since there's practically nothing to blog about except for the fact that I felt very restless during lessons today. Even counted down to end of every period sey. Mondays just suck.

Screw that. At least my model moment after school was awesome and being a Nyonya for a day felt niceee :D

insanity and beyond

2009-07-17T21:49:00.003+08:00

Remember the post on which I blogged during the wee hours in the morning? Well guess what, I think that got me extra hyper in school :D It was full of laughter on Thursday. I think I laughed till my stomach hurts. There wasn't SS during that day so we watched Japanese Game Shows that were hilarious. One of it is this. & then there was AMaths Test (screw that, we've got back our papers and all of us flunked it) and the laughter kinda paused. Until our last period which was MTL. Haha I heart Malay lessons :D

I guess this week went by pretty fast. I'd only be dragging the first two days of the week now which is considered quite bearable as compared to the previous terms. Like at least by Wed, you know you went through your nightmare already so the rest of the week is just going with the flow. And may I add, it's obvious that time doesn't stops for you but when it's going to fast, you just got to do smt about it!

On a totally unrelated note, Ice Clan went mad over the fact that the GV website wouldn't load earlier on but Shad and I later found out we needn't need it in the first place (and it was after it actually loaded). HAHA I love my Girlfs :)

believe it

2009-07-17T18:41:00.003+08:00

How will you be defined in the dictionary?

Filzah Nazura [adjective] --

Tastes like fried chicken

YUMMEHHHHHHH.
*starts biting self*
:D

because I've run out of words to say

2009-07-16T01:12:00.005+08:00

Apparently I'm still awake. I know it's late and I know you have to get enough rest especially when you're gna sit for a test the next day but hey, at least I've got my other works done. I've always liked doing language like Eng and MTL than Maths or Science anyw so it doesn't matter haha.

Yeah this is what I accomplished and it was taken a minute after I clicked to new post.

& this was the other time. When I had Green and Blue watching me do work :D

stronger and free

2009-07-13T20:23:00.006+08:00

Last Saturday, it was a day trip to JB. Not that we haven't been going there often, it's just that a day trip is pretty rare. We basically slacked over at grandparents' while dad was behind the house picking rambutans with granddad. I swear I have this fear of going near fruits which is by far, my worst weakness ever. I'm just being conscious of it, I guess. A little too much :/

Moving on. Spending time at grandpop's residence was surprisingly fine. Since young, I never actually liked it. Perhaps this time round I realised I could make use of the camera and take photos :D Plus, I brought my malay compo along hahaha, how nice *angel face*

Mine and sis' same pair of shoes :D
Lookie! It's little starfruitsss.
Yes, it's ANTS.
Blame the rambutans haha.
Before we head home, we had dinner and I ordered this.

You can start salivating now :)

-

Inspiring song. I love it.

the lightbulb's working

2009-07-08T18:48:00.009+08:00

Since I got some moolahs from brother as a birthday gift, I decided to go shopping last Monday! We had lunch as a family first and then sis and I left for Tampines. I miss my hometownnn. I had fun but being the muddle-headed I always am, I kept thinking of buying stuffs and then hold on to it but put it back later. Yeah it's frustrating because I'm just too afraid to spend my money sometimes haha. But in the end, I spent over fifty bucks anyway. Admit it, you need retail therapy once in awhile :D

We had a break from all the walking at J.CO and my oh my, it was sweet.

After that, we dropped by Mak's house for awhile and after an hour or so, we headed home. Upon reaching, I received a Domokun bag from Amin. Funny guy because according to him, it reminds him of me. That makes me wonder why so much :D but anyway thanks agn!

-

Arriving at one point is the starting point to another.
-John Dewey

Let me remind myself constantly, every single day, that I should prove people wrong. And if I do forget, you remind me too. Right from this start.

-

I'm gonna save up for something already! *inserts happy eggcited retarded face*

2009-07-05T18:37:00.003+08:00

This space shall be a dedication to Nat, Zul and everyone else that matters :)

Nat; Hey girl if you'd ask me again on how we got close, I'd say it doesn't really matter because that was the past. As for now, we're closer than before and I treasure every moment spent with you! We should always look forward to the future and it would be our counts to years of friendship :) You're the most cheerful girl I know of and have always been smiling and laughing. Keep it up okay, be happy always and ignore whatever that happens to make you sad! You were great ytd to have made a surprise with the balloon that plastered a smile on my face even to sleep hahaha. I'd like to thank you so much and now I can't wait for our next outing together! <3

Zul; Boyyy, you never fail to cheer me up whenever, wherever :D Thanks for all the crappy times and you know what, I don't like to call you Sotong already. For one, the more someone calls you that, the more of a Sotong you'll be. And two, I prefer Octupus haha :P you've always been a great friend and I remember being afraid of you as well as trying to keep my distance just because I thought you fall in love too easily back in Sec 1. Hahahaha good times! Now you're ever so tall and matured already. I can't believe my own eyes sometimes XD and in reply to your post, I do bother lah aiyo. Thank you too for ytd alrgt. Perhaps without your funny acts, Nat and I wldn't have laughed so much more :)

& lastly, to those that matters! To those that took the time to bake for me (Shad, my panas partner), to those that planned surprises for me (Nat, Zul, By, Arima, Syfqh), to those who took the time to get me presents (you know who you are), to those who texted me at midnight and today (you know who you are too), to those who basically wished me alot of times through different means of communication, and everything! I can't thank you all enough. Love and sincerity from the bottom of my heart from me to all of you.

fifteenth!

2009-07-05T18:07:00.007+08:00

(Gosh Zul, your face XD)
I don't know where to start. I feel extremely touched by alot of people and although there wasn't any tears of whatsoever, really, the feeling was undescribable. You just couldn't express them in words :)

Special thanks to my dearest WGN and Mr Octupus for ytd's beyond awesome outing! I knew they were up to something but of course, I didn't know what at all. So apparently when I was (well, I was supposed to be) alone at the Esplanade's rooftop, they came with this hugeass balloon that left me speechless! (Yeah I love to call it hugeass because it's really huge haha.)

We then sat around just laughing and talking about random stuffs and taking alot of pictures. There were once when this person walked past us when the camera just snapped so end result was a picture of his butt :D it was hilarious. And then since there was a preview of the NDP, we got to see the parachutes, the helicopters and ESPECIALLY (I can't help but stress this.) THE FIREWORKS!!! I loved it to bits and pieces. I got higher soon after too. It's the loud sounds and atmosphere that just turns you on. Anything loud is good. (Excluding metal and screamo music eh thanks.) Ah, it also brought back memories on watching it on my very birthday last year too :D

Drinks on the house at Starbucks after that. More crazy times and I shan't deny I actually felt good and proud carrying the hugeass balloon home :D but yes, thanks to Zul too for accompanyg till I reach Yishun! Nyeaha.

just beat it

2009-07-03T19:00:00.005+08:00

Thank you By, Arima and Syfqh for the advanced birthday presents! You guys surprised me with a big and delicious presents that lightened up my day from right on. You guys inspired me and are loooved too :) I shall post a pict of the presents when I've taken them with Sony!

I then met up with WGN aft school and had lunch at Mcd. Spent a good four hours there just talking and laughing about random stuffs. I haven't hanged out aft sch since the term started anyw so I didn't mind or else I'd be at home doing homework or watching the chinese drama Brotherhood or sleeping. (See, so guai.) Hahahahaha. Another outing with her and Mr Octopus tmr!

Me: So how's life?
JX: My life is full of you.

Dude, you're still as comical as ever :D

just do it

2009-06-30T22:24:00.003+08:00

First day of school wasn't bad at all actually. Considering the fact that I had new stuffs pretty much make me smile along with the people around me :) I think the school should just make permanent for the students to go straight to class upon reaching. Assemblies are such a waste of time and they suck. Really.

Let's all be optimistic and look forward to the future now.

the beginning of me vs you

2009-06-28T16:47:00.005+08:00

Oh hella good it's coming soon. The day after tonight. When hell's doors open to all. Every student has a free access pass to it! Mine would be a VIP seat with strawberry waffles and cherry on top thanks.

The most three awesome subjects which homeworks I didn't complete is on tomorrow.
Let's get ready for war. YEAH.

get your armor

2009-06-28T15:06:00.007+08:00

There's practically nothing interesting to blog about for the past few days. I want to write something but I just can't seem to know exactly what.

Anyway here's something from Ulfah's blog:

sometimes even your closest friend can just suddenly turn into competition in your eyes. and there's nothing you won't do to beat him/her.

lie, scream, cry.

nothing's out of the question as long as you prove to your parents and yourself that you are better than that person.

and somehow we learnt that the measure of a person is by their grades.

it has become ridiculous.

Which reminds me. I had a dream some nights ago about crying non-stop just because I lost to a couple of my friends. It was like a nightmare because I know I'm better than them. It's just. Lack of revision or something that went wrong somewhere. And I needed to prove them wrong. Or at least myself.

Like the subject AMaths too. I know I've not been good at it but I believe I'm improving. I chose to. I don't want to waste my parents' money that has been spent for the books and disappoint them. Of course struggling to get through it isn't the best part at the end of the day and I admit I don't remember the last time I felt accomplished when doing Maths.
But I always thought, I can do it. I'm capable of doing it. I'll get through it.

Now I don't know whether it's selfishness or ego and in denial that's preventing me to making the right decisions.

poofed

2009-06-27T14:09:00.002+08:00

I can't be bothered anymore.

here comes the devil

2009-06-25T15:20:00.007+08:00

DMTH was surprisingly good. I actually expected it to be scarier to the extent that I won't get to sleep last night but it's actually more to funny scary. I loved how the people in the whole cinema burst out laughing together and gasped at the same time. A relaxing movie, I must say :D Night ATM 2 was no better. It was an interesting movie and not really the kind I'd watch in the cinemas anyw. So next up, Transformers 2!

you're far from sight

2009-06-23T23:09:00.003+08:00

I miss you here beside me.

I'm back alive. It was sad but life has to go on (and I admit mine currently suck because of homeworks -.-). Good things always come to an end. Then again I believe it's because there's more to come. I'm obviously thinking rationally and hiding this feeling with high optimism lol.

The trip got to be the funniest and most memorable one ever. I had tonnes of fun and I really didn't want to leave. The hype during BBQ night was undescribable. The shopping throughout our stay, the laughters and noise, the long rides, the atmosphere, the kind of bond. Everything. It made the relationship closer and stronger. It's been so long since I laughed that hard and I miss it already. Everything.

Now it's back to reality. Oh how I wish I was invisible.

when tomorrow comes

2009-06-20T20:05:00.005+08:00

I love the sky. The clouds are pretty. The atmosphere's great. The people, wonderful people here.

I'm staying. I am. I want to. So much and so gonna.

Just not now. Not yet. Soon, hopefully. All of us can dream, right? :D

One more on the wishlist.

-

Kota Kinabalu (KK) was really an experience. It's almost 7 hours from Brunei, travelling over 300km to get there, passing by Sarawak and basically at Sabah.

It was my first time and it was awesome getting to know their culture. Their ais kacang has macaronis in them!!! Sedap sekali hahahaha.

More updates later since the camera needs to be charged woo.

may i go and never come back?

2009-06-17T09:59:00.005+08:00

Something to start off the day! It will only take a good 4 minutes and it's worth it especially if you need a little inspiration to push you further :D Click here.

I woke up really early today. I couldn't sleep back so I thought maybe it's a chance for me to finish up some homeworks after all that I haven't done yesterday when I assumed I could have. The feeling of guilt was horrible.

And then Haziq called and entertained my boring morning. I also found out that some of the works passed to me wasn't for the holidays' but for the days I was absent -.-

Okay I want to learn. But definitely not you, Maths. *gives the death stare*

Poof!

bringing on the hell side

2009-06-15T20:18:00.006+08:00

I'm feeling pretty scared right now. Or fkd up. The way people handle things are different simply because everyone is different. But you can change it by giving others chances, letting them win for once if you can't bear to face the consequences. At least I'm like that. I hate fights, lazy to get into arguements and couldn't be bothered to face the person whose face I dislike so much that I can just rip them apart into blood and flesh. At least by ignoring it, life is back to normal. Ever so cheerful and filled with rainbows and flowers blooming. Isn't it better? You don't get sins on your part as well.

Too bad people fail to see what I'm seeing because they've got a bloody big egg on their bloody small head that's called E-G-O.

Sure it's good to put yourself infront of others at times but it really depends on the situation, you know. Use your brains or better off mind your own business if you don't know who you're dealing with.

I'm hoping you'll sing along

2009-06-15T18:00:00.007+08:00

I don't know what else to fill in this space. Maybe I'm lost for words.

Anyway, I've been out for the past few days and how could you go out and not spend money right? So yup, that has been what I'm up to.

Well at least I accomplished something today. A productive chionging-homework session with Shad was awesome because we played the swings (!!!) and bottlekicked all the way to khatib :D

I shd totally start clearing my wardrobe and start packing tomorrow. Damn you, Mr Procrastination.

On a different note, I totally forgot about this girl's birthday. I got to admit tho, I had a strange feeling that I know it's SOMEONE's birthday today. Just couldn't guess who. Should've just known earlier rawr.

Happy birthday, dearest Seri Muslihah!
I'm sorry I almost forgot your birthday. Thanks for the other day and I'm looking forward to more years of friendship with you! Hope you had a blast and I wish you all the best in everything you do especially in studies and life <3

(Psst... POA notes jangan lupa kay. Hahahahaha.)

it's a sad, sad situation

2009-06-11T18:40:00.003+08:00

To read or not to read? To clear or not to clear? To go or not to go?

...I hate making decisions. Especially when you suck at managing time.

funny how the night can make you blind

2009-06-10T22:33:00.007+08:00

He said bye for uncountable times. We just couldn't end the conversation and I like that. I'm glad we'll be meeting soon and hopefully, it won't be as quiet and awkward as the last time we met :D

I still love you even though you called me an aborigine kay. Haha, ass.

we were once so strong

2009-06-10T13:28:00.008+08:00

Disini aku masih sendiri
Merenungi hari-hari sepi
Aku tanpamu
Masih tanpamu

Bila esok hari datang lagi
Ku coba untuk hadapi semua ini
Meski tanpamu meski tanpamu

Bila aku dapat bintang yang berpijar
Mentari yang tenang bersamaku disini
Ku dapat tertawa menangis merenung
Di tempat ini aku bertahan

*
Suara dengarkanlah aku
Apa kabarnya pujaan hatiku
Aku di sini menunggunya
Masih berharap di dalam hatinya

Suara dengarkanlah aku
Apakah aku slalu dihatinya
Aku di sini menunggunya
Masih berharap di dalam hatinya

Kalau ku masih tetap disini
Ku lewati semua yang terjadi
Aku menunggumu
Aku menunggu

-

Indonesian songs rocks. I'd love to listen to Korean ones (since it's the in thing right now what with Boys Over Flowers) but if only I could understand the lyrics lol. You should check out songs from Afgan, Kerispatih and Ungu too when you have the time. My favourites :D

On a diff note, I just realised how pathetic my previous post was haha. And anyway, happy birthday to Fatiha and Taufiq! :) hope you guys have a blast today. Go break a leg okay. <3

it's not gonna be too hard

2009-06-08T10:53:00.005+08:00

I've used up too many tissues. We're supposed to save earth. The earth that have always had something going wrong somewhere. I've had enough of you. Please go away. It's been a while and I can't take it. Have mercy on me. I need to save tissues!!! I can't simply go to the bathroom and throw you away because you just won't come out.

I know you can leave me alone. Come on, Flu Bug. Pack up and go awayyy. Your time is up!

nobody messes with it now

2009-06-07T21:30:00.002+08:00

This may be the same pict Amira had on her blog haha. I wish they had all the colours into one! That'll be awesome. But I'm glad I've got at least one of them in my hands :D

fly me to the moon

2009-06-07T00:06:00.004+08:00

Photos from the past always bring back bittersweet memories. From time to time, I looked different and it's hilarious. I think I used to be alot chubbier. Ancient man. (Btw serimoose, I don't have a nice decent pict of us people back in primary sch days to put up on fb. How?) XD

-

I have a friend. A very close friend. He got to be the closest guyfriend I have. We share our problems with each other sometimes. And help each other when one's in need. He enjoys sleeping in taxis and buses, maybe even in any other motor vehicles XD The reason why he's being called a 'sotong' is because he don't get things as fast as others most of the time. Overall, he's nice and ever so friendly :) Zul's the name. Girls, I'd love to give you his number but he's attached. Yeah, awww.

I have another friend. Who can't stop saying that she doesn't have discipline just because she didn't do work the whole day but went online instead. She felt anxiety earlier and yes, I know how it feels like. IT IS EVIL. Her stamina is better than mine and she has relived my childhood memories this morning. (Cycling and swinging on the swing <3) She's one of the reasons why I survived school. I can read her mind. She's cool and Amira's the name.

(Here's especially for you twooo, as requested hahahah)

1.17AM/ To add on, both my friends asked me to blog about them at the same time. Their reaction was the same and after tagging (again, at the same time), they said they're both touched. You guys got telepathy or something?

even though you're not here with me

2009-06-05T23:09:00.002+08:00

Ain't the sky pretty at 8am this morning? (:

-

This feeling is undescribable. I miss you.

I'm thinking back on the past
It's true the time is flyin' by too fast

I miss you, I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow

what if you slept and never woke up?

2009-06-03T22:11:00.004+08:00

Amira and I had an awesome video conference earlier. For the first time haha. All the crazyness and randomness got in the mood like a flash woo. (Eh be honoured your name is the first one for this post yknw XD)

My legs are currently wobbly. We stood for hours. It was the first and definitely not the last. Somehow it gives you the (as what Hadirah would say) warm, fuzzy feeling inside. You just can't stand the people who simply acted like we were invisible anyway but it's okay. No pain, no gain mah.

On a different note, I caught Monsters vs. Aliens yesterday! :D & it wasn't that bad. If only it had more powerful effects that will just make your heart drop or something la. But anyhoo, it's still a good movie knowing it's only my 2nd one hahah.

hope for a better day tomorrow

2009-05-31T19:16:00.003+08:00

See this is what holidays do to you. It's only the second. Man, I need a life.

to get to that one thing

2009-05-29T20:56:00.005+08:00

I guess distractions got in the way but I've got no one else to blame except for myself. Totally hated the fact that everything became a blur and much thinking was needed to be done. It was a wake-up call. Really.

Thank you, God.

-

Anyway, it was the finals today. We didn't win for TOW but all's fine, we did our best and it was already good enough that we made it to the finals :) Overall, sports carnival earlier today was quite a bomb la. & congrats hidhir. Go on that extra mile and make us proud! (lol)

that girl

2009-05-23T13:35:00.001+08:00

I saw a girl sitting down having her breakfast alone. She had so many things in mind. What she wanted to be, what she've planned to do, what she wanted in life. She hated the fact that she've let her parents down. Her teachers, her friends, and even herself. She was disappointed.

Therefore she decided not to go to her tuition because to go or not to go, it doesn't make much of a difference.

boo

2009-05-19T23:57:00.000+08:00

The final day of post-exam activities and we had inter-class games followed by a whole two hours of sitting at Inspire Town watching Nacho and a bit of Jumper. I was one of em who took part in tug-of-war and pushball and my class won for TOW uh! We got into the finals like last year :D I like pushball. All about getting yourselves dirty and I guess we got distracted when Shrfh fell therefore the opponent team got the chance to score haiya. Nevertheless, I had fun :D

(Kay I miss BOSSABALLLLL.)

So after all the fun, I went home and sped to Marina Sq with sis soon after. We caught The Uninvited and that show's awesome! The twist at the end of it was really cool. As quoted from sidereel, it "opts for a more psychological journey where the frights take the form of character revelations, making it more dramatic than horrific." I did scream during one of the scenes tho. In my sis' ears somemore HAHA xD Worth your bucks lah.

Had dinner at Arab St and reached home just in time to watch Jihan. Aurel's damn irritating and she can't act man. Wonder if she's in because maybe she's just related to the producer or the crew or just lucky -.-

-

"We survive by remembering but sometimes we also survive by forgetting."
- from one of the scenes in the movie

We gotta take the good and throw away the bad. When you're down in the dumps, remember the happy memories spent with your loved ones and when you're high in the sky, forget all the bad memories that has ever happened to you. Take it from me, people ;)

mari kite buka botol

2009-05-18T21:06:00.010+08:00

Hilarious time with Shad and Nxtxsshx today!

We went for lunch at Pizzahut and laughed like nobody's business. Even the waiter can do nothing about it. Totally crapped all the way until my jaws hurt. I can't even think properly right now after a long period of time laughing lah. (Yeah it was that bad hahaha) But one thing's for sure, it didn't stop there. We went to the library after that and continued. And all the way to AMK Hub where we parted. Tsk tsk!

Thanks so much for the day, you two. Hopefully my laughing gas is still in working condition by tomorrow xD When I meh, you baaa kay.

-

EvoBoy19 says (8:30 PM):
eh u tau tak aritu i watch Gilmore Girls.. u nampak macam Alexis Bledel tapi wif darker hair n brown eyes tau n the chubbier version
EvoBoy19 says (8:31 PM):
yg the one who play Rory Gilmore
EvoBoy19 says (8:32 PM):
http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j200/SomeHeartsFan/01.jpg
f & n said (8:33 PM):
hahahahahahaha
omg i take that as a compliment!
EvoBoy19 says (8:35 PM):
of course wa

HEHEEE HONOURED SIOL.

-

Happy birthday to Kak Ryn and Aqilah! :D

when you're happy and you know it

2009-05-17T22:26:00.003+08:00

I feel like I've done nothing that benefitted me today. Excluding the part during religious class because obviously that's beneficial. So that left me the feeling of guilt and fear... of not going to pass NAPFA although it's in July. Weird right, just because when I'm too free I tend to think about the wildest things and therefore thought of how lousy my stamina is currently ._. Basket.

On a happier note, I've been chatting with awesome people who doesn't fail to make me laugh.

I love the world.
Goodnight.

what's up, yo

2009-05-17T00:12:00.011+08:00

Ahhh I finally downloaded the latest msn version hahaha. I know right, slooow.

Anyw, yestd was a blast! Thks to Fadhil, I caught his school's english play with sis. He did awesome :D (if you're reading this, do tag!) Somehw reminded me of the other time I last went there with the good friends man. There were 6 different plays and his' was the first. It was a great start to the whole thing and the ending part was cool too. Funny and sweet play altogether :)

& then I met the brothers for awhile after tuition today. Very impromptu indeed haha. Thks for accompanying me till I reach the mrt stn, Zully :D don't worry kay, everythg will be fine :)

Soon after, I was off to meet Haikal to accompany him get his laptop bags. We had fun walking in and out of shops, didn't we? Hahaha. Then some chilling/enjoying my choc cream chip frappe while he didn't enjoy his' (:P)/admiring his new lappy/meddling or playing or using the webcam/talking about random stuffs, at starbucks. Now I feel like buying a new bag. But then again, that can wait till june hols hehe.

the kuku

2009-05-16T23:01:00.003+08:00

Meet NOBO :D thks for cracking me up big time man.

what goes around, comes around

2009-05-15T13:41:00.003+08:00

To be frank, I wanted to update until later in the night since I'll be going out. Then again, I can be quite a forgetful person haha.

SA1's finally over and I'm glad it is. I've never felt so distracted before and it really has been a long tiring week. I can now put my mind at rest and have fun! Aren't sure if I deserve it cos I don't think I did my best but shall worry about that later anyway :)

Discovered something ytd. ANXIETY IS EVIIIL.

Okay till then, I shall leave you with the lyrics by Taufik and Hady's KepadaNya. It carries a very deep meaning and that's the reason why I'm in love with it since the second I heard its chorus. Do listen to the song!

Wahai manusia
Sedarlah dirimu
Hidup di dunia, hanya sementara
Dekatkan diri padaNya

Biar terluka
Hapuskan sangsi mu
Ialah petunjuk buat segalanya
Arahkan diri padaNya

Not to forget, I wanna say thanks sooo muchiez to those who were concerned about me. I'm doing fine and don't you worry ;)

aku bukan boneka

2009-05-14T12:50:00.005+08:00

I like this. Sometimes when something (mostly the bad) happens in my life, it doesn't only applies to me. So in other words, I can connect and vice-versa with people in the same boat easily :)

There's nothing more I can say actually. I'm happy just seeing you happy and I mean it. Really :D

Like a bird that has just been let out of its cage, it's time to fly.

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

& that's all that matters.

go on and take a bow

2009-05-12T16:33:00.005+08:00

So I'm back by *coughs* popular *coughs* demand. Just felt like ranting but I'm telling you this blog's not fully alive yet.

It's been exactly 31 days since I went on hiatus. Lots of things happened. One of it is the time when my Thai buddy came over and it was a hell load of fun. Just spending time with friends till late at night, making new ones, keeping in close contact with the current ones and all was an amazing experience. I'm not really going into details so yah.

To sum it all up: I lead a contented but at random times, depressing life. As human beings, we all make mistakes. And I dare say I'm not perfect.

By the way,

My Friendster Account

JANUARY 2005 - MAY 2009

R.I.P

Finally!

Someone please tell me what's wrong.

-

2009-04-10T08:46:00.006+08:00

ON HIATUS!

the horror

2009-04-06T23:15:00.004+08:00

Final Destination 3 on Ch 5 yesterday was kick-ass fun! I think the show's really good. I know it's an old show but I don't think I've watched it before. Kinda scared the shit out of me too haha. :D then again, I hate shows that ends with death. So after the credits started showing, I was like, "Wtf?" Yeah. Hahaha.

Slowpoke. Mr S asked whether I ate rojak bcos I said I wasn't feeling well, that I had diarrhoe so I can't do PE. Now I finally know exactly why rojak of all the other food. xD I'm so not gonna eat rojak for sometime now!

Why don't I see you online?

zeckzeckzecks

2009-04-04T00:06:00.000+08:00

I just changed the private settings on my fb profile earlier this afternoon. Which means all this while it was for everyone to see and not only for my friends -.- I was so dumb. Damn it.

To add on to that, I took a hell lot of quizzes recently. & NigaHiga's vids cracks me up big time!

patience is key

2009-04-02T20:38:00.009+08:00

I especially hate it when my feelings get all stirred up, leaving me with no choice but to feel the insecureness sinking in. I guess it's just life cos I know I'm not alone. But yknw how when you feel it, you tend to get all emo and just wna be in another place, a whole diff environment to start anew. It sucks man. Okay stop ranting already, it's gna sound so draggy and annoying. XD

-

So here's a few random stuffs;

I wanna meet K agn and take a photo with him. Thinkg of him just makes me happy haha.
Wanna graduate badly! (don't seem to have any specific reason for it so don't ask)
I want to lose weeeeeight. (this' gna be a hard cos it's always easier said than done)
I'm dying to meet people whom I haven't met for ages. Pri schmates to be exact!
Gotta clear my closet which've got clothes piling up as high as Mt. Everest.
Am starting to love A. Maths (bcos I understand).
FLYYYYYYYY and run away from all the obstacles in life would be nice. :D

Today's not bad actly. Neither a happy nor a sad one - just the way I like it heee. K needa do the hmwrks alr so ta!

-

2009-04-01T18:40:00.004+08:00

Adlyn: "Hey we have SS test today, kan?"
Shad: *GASPSSSSS* (priceless expression) xD

HAHA Great April's Fool joke to start off the day :)

P/S: New blogskin. Just don't click with navigations 'cos it's a hassle hahaha.

this is life

2009-03-31T22:33:00.004+08:00

A quick one!

Days've been the same lah, nothing much interesting happening. My cousins from Brunei came over for the whole of last week and yeah, I hope the two sisters enjoyed their stay here! They shopped alot too hehehe. Till then. XD

I'm not sure why I'm happy but maybe it's because I'm letting you go. The pain, everything. Thanks for giving me the hope to know what's out there. Thanks for making me realise about such things I never thought of. Sure was a lesson learnt :)

groove to the moosic

2009-03-22T23:32:00.002+08:00

Presenting to youuuuuuuuuuuuu,

Awesomest of all: FUSIA X!
Their from St. Joseph Institution, if I'm not wrong.
Extremely high energy level!
Look at them! Style or what :D
And then they had a battle of the sexes wooooah.-

Today was really rushing. I thought I couldn't make it for Danceworks since it clashed with tuition but turns out that it's from 1-4pm. Moreover, if I won't be gg for DW, I might be at GPA or out to escape with Haziq and gang or just lepak with Tazi. What an eventful Saturday, right? Glad I made the right choice tho!

Soooo made it to Vivo with Amiirawr and Hadirah at long last and we were just on time for Fusia X! We caught afew teams before them too and all were cool. Performances always turns me on and so this ain't an exception. I especially love the atmospheeere. All the screaming and cheering just feels so good. :D Yay, I love loud noises.

Eh there's no U bcos Syafiqah left early haha.
Although Fusia X didn't win anything for the competition itself, they still won my heart. Yeah man, you guys rocked the stage. I had lots of fun cheering and shouting and singing and going crazy with you guys ah! :D

Nevermind about winning. You guys already made the effort to practice for hours per day and what's most important is the team spirit! You guys still got back home with goodies, cert of participation and memories so don't ya worry heee.

Love you all! <3
(Time 2.32am changed to make the date right.)

that's when i love you

2009-03-19T18:54:00.003+08:00

Last two days, on Tuesday, we went around for more sightseeing. My aunt brought us to see her school and my cousins' schools. It was kinda cool cos I've been wanting to know how schools in other countries are like too!

The school my aunt's teaching in.
Sakinah's school. :D
Then, we went to Jaya Hypermarket and I bought a top over there. Ate some dimsums before heading to a restaurant called Excellent Taste (actl I remember ET only haha). Soon after, we visited uncle Yusoff and family at his house. Food again but I skipped. Too full lah. XD

At night, sibs and I accompanied abg Syafiq when he wanted to meet his friends to transfer some pc games. After about an hour or so, we parted with his friends and had supper at a warong. We had roti john and drinks. Talked like there's no tomorrow (literally true cos it was our last night there) and got back home about 1+am. I loooved it!

-

The day I was leaving for Singapore.

Last shot on the way to Miri Airport.
Before take-off. Awesome, right? :D
& this is from - I wanted to say bird's eye view but birds don't fly this high. Or at least I think they don't so this is how it looks like from way up high in the sky at night. XD
-

Obviously, it's hard to let go but you gotta do what you gotta sometimes. Not gonna say much here but I really am touched by every single thing that has been done throughout my stay in Brunei. Special thanks to uncle Syafiee and family for everything; from the warm and welcomed hospitality to the treats to all the laughters and jokes to bringing us around to each and everything lah! I really appreciate it and never have been any happier. :D

I guess the tears I had during my journey in the aeroplane was bcos of the mixed feelings I felt. Disappointed bcos I wished we could've stayed longer, sad to leave my cousins and rest (seeing that we don't see each other that often), happy and glad to have been there and experienced lots of stuffs and having heart-to-heart talks with kak Lina and abg Syafiq. Also, I will never trade the fun I had over there for anything at all. Definitely will grab any opportunity that comes by and on a brighter note, I know it's not the end of world and I'll be coming back so I shall look forward to that for now. :)

-

Just thought of sharing this,

Some kuehs brought back to Singapore from Brunei. :)
I love how it's packed haha.