You know I miss that feeling of being special in someone's eyes. I know this is all wrong to begin with but even though there's so many guys I've talked to or been talking to, it's not the same as talking to someone you like and who likes you back as well. That kind of infatuation going on but it's just - you guys just - take it slow and enjoy the ride. All this while I may have been lying to myself. That part about moving on after my last relationship? That was the truth. It was all true but what isn't is that I found someone better to like. You get it? I've moved on. I've moved on with my life. But not with someone.

As much as I hate facing the reality that people are so deeply in love today and around me while I stay put and watch them, feeling jealous, I start to wonder - Why? Why is all of this happening?

For awhile now, I've been hoping. Hoping so much that it feels as if I made a vow to myself to fall in love instantly with whoever the guy is that will write me love letters. I just want someone enough to make me feel special. I don't want a boyfriend. I don't need one. Just someone to be there for me through thick and thin.

To make matters worse, I feel like I have noone at this point of time. Like noone would stop and listen. Hear me out for a moment - maybe even just for five minutes. Everyone's caught up with their own lives, everyone's got their own problems. I stop to listen to their woes but have they done the same for me? When I speak a little about how I'm feeling or what I wanna do, it's like - they brush me aside or something. Some changed the topic and we'll start talking like I never said what I said. Didn't they hear me? Didn't they wanna know? Didn't they care?

It's like we're running out of time and my patience is no longer here. Ya Allah, please help me.