get your armor
20090628 @ 3:06 PM
There's practically nothing interesting to blog about for the past few days. I want to write something but I just can't seem to know exactly what.
Anyway here's something from Ulfah's blog:
sometimes even your closest friend can just suddenly turn into competition in your eyes. and there's nothing you won't do to beat him/her.
sometimes even your closest friend can just suddenly turn into competition in your eyes. and there's nothing you won't do to beat him/her.
lie, scream, cry.
nothing's out of the question as long as you prove to your parents and yourself that you are better than that person.
and somehow we learnt that the measure of a person is by their grades.
it has become ridiculous.
Which reminds me. I had a dream some nights ago about crying non-stop just because I lost to a couple of my friends. It was like a nightmare because I know I'm better than them. It's just. Lack of revision or something that went wrong somewhere. And I needed to prove them wrong. Or at least myself.
Like the subject AMaths too. I know I've not been good at it but I believe I'm improving. I chose to. I don't want to waste my parents' money that has been spent for the books and disappoint them. Of course struggling to get through it isn't the best part at the end of the day and I admit I don't remember the last time I felt accomplished when doing Maths.
But I always thought, I can do it. I'm capable of doing it. I'll get through it.
Now I don't know whether it's selfishness or ego and in denial that's preventing me to making the right decisions.
Labels: emo moments, life, shitzzz, studies