I hate it when this happens; thinking too much and worrying unnecessarily. I'd imagine what'll happen and all the what ifs. It freaks me out as the feeling of insecurity sets in. Plus the bitter sweet memories of the past. Sometimes I just wonder why I can't just - just for that period of time - try to chill and let go. Damn.

So maybe I'm not ready for the new year yet. The year of being an upper sec with more complicated subjects to study for, like in the sec one days (when from P6 with only 4 main subs you move on to what, 8?). I'd be lying if I say I'm not terrified bcos really, to know that tuition starts next week already, I'm very much not prepared for the new year with all the new-not-so-new things that'll be introduced to me.

I guess I'm just scared. Just scared to face the reality. But I know everyone has to go through it one day. And I'm here, being one of those going through it. Why can't I accept that simple statement? Why do I feel so wtf? Why must I think of all those that I shouldn't be thinking of? How did I get into this mess anyway?

School have yet to start, mind you.

Labels: choices, dreams, life, random, studies